By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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