BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
