why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
