I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's never too late to be topless.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
