He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
