When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
