HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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