are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
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