i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
