i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Small penises have feelings too.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
