Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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