Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
