I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
