im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
