He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
