his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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