Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
