I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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