By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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