I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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