Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
