I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
