dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Randomize
