my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
