he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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