i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
