this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
