Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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