My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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