Having a random hookup so left but love u
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
