Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The beer is more important than you right now.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
