I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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