Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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