I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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