I wanna passion pit in your ass
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
