Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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