I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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