Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
you made out with another girl for some wings
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
