it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
