I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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