smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
