she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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