I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
