I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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