I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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