So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
