I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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