Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
