i wish my penis had a tongue
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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