Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
