I just made out with a guy for $7.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
