He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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